Whether or not events transpired as police say, this is objectively funny. Trash panda sucking the glass dick.

Police in Ohio were surprised to discover a pet raccoon called Chewy with a meth pipe in its mouth during a traffic stop in the town of Springfield.

In a statement, Springfield Township police department said that one of its officers, Austin Branham, made the stop after spotting a vehicle whose owner had an active warrant and a suspended driver’s license.

Branham detained the driver without incident but then returned to the vehicle.

“However, things took an unusual turn,” the police press release said.

“As Officer Branham returned to the vehicle, he observed a raccoon named ‘Chewy’ sitting in the driver’s seat with a meth pipe in its mouth. Chewy had somehow gotten hold of a glass methamphetamine pipe, leading officers to further inspect the vehicle.”

Surprising absolutely no one, a large quantity of drugs was found in the search. But in case anyone’s worried:

“No raccoons were hurt or injured in this incident,” police added.