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no banana to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world • 1 year ago

How to keep a man

lemmy.world

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How to keep a man

lemmy.world

no banana to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world • 1 year ago
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  • THCDenton
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    110•1 year ago

    My favorite. Partially digested cafeteria food.

    • no bananaOP
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      26•1 year ago

      It’s what men crave

      • @HootinNHollerin@slrpnk.net
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        3•1 year ago

        Brawndo er Brodo

  • @EdibleFriend@lemmy.world
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    97•1 year ago

    No seriously somebody fucking explain that chicken to me. That doesn’t even look raw? I don’t get it at all? What the fuck did she do to it!

    I need some serious fucking answers.

    • @Bristlecone@lemmy.world
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      108•1 year ago

      Boiled?

      • @EdibleFriend@lemmy.world
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        41•1 year ago

        Omfg that’s it.

      • @Mirshe@lemmy.world
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        32•1 year ago

        Definitely boiled, looks identical to the chicken my coworker brought in once. She boiled every piece of meat within an inch of its life because she didn’t know how to prepare it otherwise.

        • Victor
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          10•1 year ago

          Boils all meats? Like steak and things? Freaking barf

          • Mario_Dies.wav
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            12•1 year ago

        • @grendel@lemmy.world
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          2•1 year ago

          deleted by creator

      • no bananaOP
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        19•1 year ago

        Steamed?

        • Decoy321M
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          24•
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          1 year ago

          Steaming chicken is the most boring way to cook chicken. The only way eastern cultures pull it off is with heavy use of seasonings and sauce.

          This looks like someone shoved a pepper grinder under their nose and sneezed onto this chicken.

          • @chatokun@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            4•1 year ago

            I’ve used it for pulled chicken for a soup. I believe the instructions said boil, but I pressure cook/steam it for a few mins then add it into the muchbmore flavorful soup. Though I just as often just use canned chicken breast instead.

            Only thing I’ve ever done that for, since I love chicken to have a browned somewhat firm to crunchy crust, depending on which cut it is.

      • The Menemen!
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        1•1 year ago

        Oh, I guess you are correct. On a firstly glance I thought there was béchamelsauce on it.

    • @Ookami38@sh.itjust.works
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      13•1 year ago

      Looks boiled to temp and covered with pepper. So you’ll have bland, rubbery chicken with a bit of pepper and no flavor from browning.

      • @Igloojoe@lemm.ee
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        1•1 year ago

        I didnt even know that was even a way to cook chicken. Just put it in the oven!

    • undetermined
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      6•1 year ago

      deleted by creator

      • @DonkeyShot@lemmy.world
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        3•1 year ago

        Me too! Dusgusting ice cream in the form and color of a scrotum!

    • 𝕽𝖚𝖆𝖎𝖉𝖍𝖗𝖎𝖌𝖍
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      2•1 year ago

      I’ve been hoping that’s gravy. Hope… hope… hope…

  • @hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    75•1 year ago

    The plate is the tastiest-looking thing in this photo.

    • no bananaOP
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      26•1 year ago

      And it looks disgusting

    • @LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world
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      1•1 year ago

      Like this right here

  • @jupyter_rain@discuss.tchncs.de
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    71•1 year ago

    Keep him because he will be too weak to run?

    • @JeeBaiChow@lemmy.world
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      11•1 year ago

      Oh he’ll have the runs alright!

    • Virtual Insanity
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      3•1 year ago

      Run? WTF you on about? Dead men can’t run and no one is surviving that dish.

  • @db2@lemmy.world
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    57•1 year ago

    What the cinnamon toast fuck

    • no bananaOP
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      25•1 year ago

  • @Famko@lemmy.world
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    54•1 year ago

    Do you keep him in prison?

    • Funkytom467
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      16•1 year ago

      The basement evidently.

      • Introversion
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        12•1 year ago

        It eats the chicken or else it gets the hose again.

      • NegativeLookBehind
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        10•1 year ago

        In a hole you dug, while wearing someone else’s face.

    • @vivadanang@lemm.ee
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      3•1 year ago

      or a hospital… ugh

  • Pasta Dental
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    45•
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    1 year ago

    Same vibe

    • @AgentGrimstone@lemmy.world
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      48•1 year ago

      This looks 10x better than the OP

      • The Menemen!
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        1•1 year ago

        If the photographer was not that bad it might have even looked tasty.

      • Pasta Dental
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        1•
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        1 year ago

        Id eat that any day it looks good (im not specifying which of the two images, you decide)

    • Funkytom467
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      28•1 year ago

      At least here the chicken isn’t RAW

      • Norgur
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        13•1 year ago

        That’s not raw,.it’s fucking boiled. No frying pan in sight I guess.

        • Mario_Dies.wav
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          10•1 year ago

          It doesn’t even look boiled. I’ve seen a lot of boiled chicken, and never with a completely smooth texture and the color of Pepto Bismol.

          There’s something else desperately wrong with the chicken in the OP, but I can’t put my finger on it.

          • Bakkoda
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            8•1 year ago

            Worse, it’s steamed. It got put in a pan on lowish heat and covered.

            • @CubbyTustard@reddthat.com
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              6•1 year ago

              deleted by creator

          • @WhiteOakBayou@lemmy.world
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            2•1 year ago

            Did you have some weird chicken boiling job or is that common in your country? I’ve only ever heard of the practice in internet jokes and have never seen it performed.

            • @hydrospanner@lemmy.world
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              6•1 year ago

              It’s definitely not the way to go for taste but I’ve heard of boiled chicken pretty often.

              Usually it’s in the context of health reasons (a friend that is a fitness and nutrition guy basically just adds diced boiled chicken breast to fresh salads to add protein with few/any nutrition drawbacks), for babies/young children to add some soft and healthy meat to their diet, other dietary restrictions (can’t have spices or salt, etc.), or it’s going to be added to some other dish that will provide moisture, flavor, etc. My mom will boil chicken to make stock, then use the chicken in Buffalo dip or stir fry or shred it up and toss it in bbq sauce for sandwiches and stuff.

              Definitely not in the way shown in the OP though.

            • Mario_Dies.wav
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              3•1 year ago

              My husband has boiled chicken with rice quite a lot. He’ll boil a pot of rice with random things like chicken, corn on the cob, etc.

            • Norgur
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              2•1 year ago

              Really? Never seen or eaten boiled chicken? Where do you think chicken broth or chicken soup comes from?

        • Funkytom467
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          5•1 year ago

          To be fair i never seen boiled chicken, but i can’t imagine why i would ever see it.

      • @TimewornTraveler@lemm.ee
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        2•1 year ago

        hey op chicken was boiled to perfection 😂

    • @bdonvr@thelemmy.club
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      20•
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      1 year ago

      That looks like it at least might have one or two spices on it besides pepper

      • @JustMy2c@lemm.ee
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        2•1 year ago

        And actually has some mainard browning. The rice looks ok too.

        Dunno why adults eat yellow pasta tho… Must be a marketing truck played on poor people.

    • @Ookami38@sh.itjust.works
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      20•1 year ago

      At least it has some color lol

    • @hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      11•1 year ago

      At least that looks edible.

      • Tier 1 Build-A-Bear 🧸
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        2•1 year ago

        You’re talking about the bottom one, aren’t you

    • @nixcamic@lemmy.world
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      3•1 year ago

      This looks like decent food that someone took a picture of in shit lighting.

      • Pasta Dental
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        3•1 year ago

        I think it’s more about the second picture

    • @Aremel@lemm.ee
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      1•1 year ago

      What’s that stuff in the “after” pic…?

      • Pasta Dental
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        2•1 year ago

        The chef’s special sauce

  • FunkyMonk
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    40•1 year ago

    yep that would give me the shits. nice post. keep em on the toilet, queen.

    • @Agent641@lemmy.world
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      19•1 year ago

      He cant cheat if he cant leave the dunny

  • @curiousaur@reddthat.com
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    35•1 year ago

    That looks so disgusting. I can’t even.

  • @BustinJiber@lemmy.world
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    32•1 year ago

    If “a man” puked in there - would we be able to tell the difference?

    • @hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      14•1 year ago

      I think that she feeds her “man” the same way penguins feed their chicks.

    • @JustMy2c@lemm.ee
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      1•1 year ago

      Not if he ate the same stuff before as well

  • IninewCrow
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    31•1 year ago

    How to keep a man … away

  • @robocall@lemmy.world
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    28•1 year ago

    This man’s shits are as runny as his cream corn

  • @MataVatnik@lemmy.world
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    28•1 year ago

    The meal of a 1970s serial killer

    • no bananaOP
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      37•1 year ago

      That killer’s cereal:

  • @Fizz@lemmy.nz
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    25•1 year ago

    Uncanny valley food.

    • @hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      4•1 year ago

      I don’t see any food in this picture.

  • @Furbag@lemmy.world
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    22•1 year ago

    Raw chicken, maybe it’s been boiled if we’re being extremely generous.

    Two different kinds of boxed macaroni and cheese.

    Canned creamed corn, likely cold or lukewarm at best.

    I’d maybe eat the mac, but since it’s touching a biohazard, probably not a good idea.

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