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@Merlin13245@lemmy.world to Memes@lemmy.ml • 2 years ago

Survival at stake

lemmy.world

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Survival at stake

lemmy.world

@Merlin13245@lemmy.world to Memes@lemmy.ml • 2 years ago
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  • @empireOfLove@lemmy.one
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    64•2 years ago

    Y’all need more fiber in ya life

    • @phorq@lemmy.ml
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      28•2 years ago

      My toilet paper is already practically a pillow, how many more fibers do you want?

      • @empireOfLove@lemmy.one
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        11•2 years ago

        It has to go through you!!!

        • @FredericChopin_@feddit.uk
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          2 years ago

          deleted by creator

          • @empireOfLove@lemmy.one
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            4•2 years ago

            Well at least it’s recyclable.

    • @Rachelhazideas@lemmy.world
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      19•2 years ago

      I have IBS. Might as well ask us if we’ve tried yoga.

      • @moody@lemmings.world
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        7•2 years ago

        Well, have you?

        • @Rachelhazideas@lemmy.world
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          4•2 years ago

          FYI, ‘have you tried yoga?’ In chronic illness speak means ‘can I offer you unsolicited advice with the undertones of presuming that you have not tried to the best of your abilities to cure yourself of an incurable disease that has not even come close to be fully treatable?’

          Not saying that’s what OP said, just saying thats how it comes off to most non-chronic illness sufferers.

          • @Agent641@lemmy.world
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            5•2 years ago

            Ok, but have you tried essential oils?

    • @ShakeThatYam@lemmy.world
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      18•2 years ago

      Also water. If you eat a bunch of fiber without water… believe it or not, also constipation.

      • @FredericChopin_@feddit.uk
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        2 years ago

        deleted by creator

    • @Jessica@discuss.tchncs.de
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      7•2 years ago

      No, he needs a squatty potty. I can’t believe nobody else in these comments has mentioned them.

      • @empireOfLove@lemmy.one
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        3•2 years ago

        Fuck, I forgot what a cult following those weird things have.

        • @Jessica@discuss.tchncs.de
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          3•2 years ago

          It’s not a weird cult following? Humans have been squatting to shit for millennia. It’s just a return to our roots because it’s what works…

          • @empireOfLove@lemmy.one
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            2•2 years ago

            No, I meant the squatty potty people end up popping all over the place to mention how good they are. There was a lot of it on Reddit especially, back when they were new.

            Now they’ve all been replaced by people expounding on the pleasures of bidets…

      • @GreatGrapeApe@reddthat.com
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        2•2 years ago

        No they need fiber and water if they are struggling.

    • Granixo
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      3•2 years ago

      And how do you deal with corn then? 🌽

      • @Confused_Emus@lemmy.world
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        5•2 years ago

        Wash it off and toss it in the next pot of chili!

      • @kamiheku@sopuli.xyz
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        4•2 years ago

        Corn? I don’t remember eating corn!

        • Granixo
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          1•2 years ago

          You sure about that?

    • R0cket_M00se
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      3•2 years ago

      I don’t think that’s going to help the lactose intolerance and potential IBS.

    • @EeeDawg101@lemm.ee
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      2•2 years ago

      This is more like has an intense case of food poisoning or something rather than a regular BM.

  • The Giant Korean
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    44•2 years ago

    WHO DOES NUMBER 2 WORK FOR

    • Nick
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      10•2 years ago

      That’s right, show that turd who’s boss!

    • The_Worst
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      9•2 years ago

      Yeah, that’s it! You show that turd who’s boss.

    • squiblet
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      2 years ago

      (since nobody seems to know, this is a scene from the Prisoner, which is what “who does #2 work for” is a reference to)

      • Nick
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        12•2 years ago

        I’m pretty sure this is a reference to Austin Powers, where he’s giving the Irish hitman a swirly in a casino bathroom and yelling “WHO DOES NUMBER 2 WORK FOR” while a gambler played by Tom Arnold in the next stall is trying to encourage him on.

        • Aesculapius
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          10•2 years ago

          You are correct. But what Austin Powers was referencing was this scene from The Prisoner. Top notch 60’s TV!

          • @ChillCapybara@discuss.tchncs.de
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            4•2 years ago

            The mvp is in the comments of the comments

      • @Seventhlevin@lemmy.world
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        6•2 years ago

        I AM NOT A NUMBER. I AM A FREE MAN!

      • @foo@programming.dev
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        6•2 years ago

        That’s not my bag, baby

      • Aesculapius
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        3•2 years ago

        Deep cut! I first heard of and saw that show in college. It’s great!

        • @Destraight@lemm.ee
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          -1•2 years ago

          It wasn’t a show, it was a movie.

          • squiblet
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            2•2 years ago

            I think they’re referring to the Prisoner, not Austin Powers.

    • @markstos@lemmy.world
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      -3•2 years ago

      Vegans. Plants = Fiber.

      Animal products have no fiber.

      • Neato
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        3•2 years ago

        Some people are blessed with normal bowel movements with average amounts of fiber. We participate in a CSA so have dozens of pounds of veggies every week. Every meal is veggie heavy. My body doesn’t care, it’s a lazy ass.

        • @markstos@lemmy.world
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          2•2 years ago

          The average American gets only about half the recommended amount of fiber.

      • @GreatGrapeApe@reddthat.com
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        0•2 years ago

        Animal products can have fiber if it is either forcemeat like chicken and apple sausages but on its own only plant foods have dietary fiber

        • @markstos@lemmy.world
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          0•2 years ago

          deleted by creator

          • @GreatGrapeApe@reddthat.com
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            1•2 years ago

            I literally said that in the comment. Look at how the sentence ends.

  • NegativeLookBehind
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    40•2 years ago

    When you take your pants off mid-shit, you know it’s a life or death situation

    • @kungen@feddit.nu
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      15•2 years ago

      Or when you preemptively take off your shirt.

  • kaupas24
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    32•2 years ago

    Wait a sec… Is it me or did he forget to open the lid on the toilet?

    • @lugal@lemmy.ml
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      19•2 years ago

      That’s the fighting part

    • R0cket_M00se
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      9•2 years ago

      That’s just the seat.

  • @pascal@lemm.ee
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    14•2 years ago

    That’s why we call it bathroom.

    • @lugal@lemmy.ml
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      3•2 years ago

      Speak for yourself.

      I call it Badezimmer but for similar reasons

  • @MonsiuerPatEBrown@reddthat.com
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    13•2 years ago

    psyllium.

    capsules.

    • @jasondj@ttrpg.network
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      7•2 years ago

      I am convinced that of all the secrets of the world that the elder generations hadn’t passed onto us…taking a fiber supplement is the biggest improvement to daily life.

    • @LukeMedia@lemmy.world
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      4•2 years ago

      Bananas are great too

      • @JuzoInui@lemmy.world
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        8•2 years ago

        True. Went to a farmers market and bought a bunch cuz they were cheap. Stupid ass me decided to eat then and there. Thirty minutes later I was blowing red lights to try to reach a safe place to drop der UberDeuce. I swore that the toilet was screaming at me for a week after that

        • @LukeMedia@lemmy.world
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          4•2 years ago

          Yeah, bananas help solidify it. They are also mildly antacid. I’ll take that over fighting for my life after enjoying a tasty hot sauce!

  • @lapommedeterre@lemmy.world
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    10•2 years ago

    Can confirm. Have Crohn’s.

    • Bonehead
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      12•2 years ago

      Can confirm. Have Crohn’s, and I just stopped at home in the middle of my route because I couldn’t hold it anymore…

    • squiblet
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      4•2 years ago

      Yeah, I have celiac and all I think when people reference epic toilet struggles is “hmm, either you don’t eat any fiber or… you may have a serious health problem”

  • @hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    10•2 years ago

    I once was really tired in a mall and went to the (public) toilet just to sit my ass down and hide from people.

  • @lilShalom@lemmy.basedcount.com
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    7•2 years ago

    Im in this exact position while reading this.

  • @JuzoInui@lemmy.world
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    6•2 years ago

    Take the corn OFF the cob next time dumbass

  • @FredericChopin_@feddit.uk
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    6•
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    2 years ago

    deleted by creator

  • TigrisMorte
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    6•2 years ago

    Because you won’t eat your fresh veg.

  • @Kecessa@sh.itjust.works
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    5•2 years ago

    Oh that’s exactly my position the morning after a “Hot ones” evening!

  • Dr. Coomer
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    3•2 years ago

    Its not called a restroom because of that, silly…

  • NarendraCzar
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    -9•2 years ago

    deleted by creator

    • @full_on_rapist@sh.itjust.works
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      4•2 years ago

      Excuse me what

      • @WarmSoda@lemm.ee
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        0•2 years ago

        Hopefully this will help explain it:

        Are males disgraced?🙂 I have a doubt how wont be male nude nsfw?

        • @full_on_rapist@sh.itjust.works
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          3•2 years ago

          It sure didn’t.

          • @WarmSoda@lemm.ee
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            1•2 years ago

            Well, I’m all out of ideas.

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