As a woman who’s been that down: IMHO you can just empathize, but admit you don’t have the capacity to deal with her needs. That you wish her well, but for your own mental health, you can’t be her rock. She may well know she has trust and relationship issues, and is telling you for the very reason that she wants you to walk away now if you can’t cope, rather than break her heart later.

Of course it’s also possible she’s has a personality disorder, rather than “just” depression, anxiety and trauma. So don’t let yourself be guilted back.

In any case, for both your sakes, and I hope this does not need saying: No sex.

Edit: Based on your responses you’re barely acquaintances. No action necessary, just let it drop.

A little or a lot more every year. Though humanity is pretty resourceful and nature has tardigrades, “never say never” to some post-apocalyptic 10k populations of one or the other surviving somewhere.

Fair enough, it does suck. I for one remain unconvinced by your sources, but respect greatly both that you provided them, and your opinion as equivalent to any “based on my non-objective experience…” just like my own. Thank you.

You clearly stated you didn’t want to have someone comb through you papers and argue, and their value as evidence is obvious to anyone who bothers to take a look, so the reaction of “nothing will come out of continuing this conversation” is quite understandable. I returned to say thank you for posting sources, but since you seem to take this as some kind of “stunned them to silence”…

The first two sources apparently refer to the same study; Okami 1995 is mostly literature review, methods, and intermediary results, while Okami 1998 is the final results.

Okami 1995: “Consistent with the cross-sectional retrospective literature (and with our expectations), no harmful main effects of these experiences were found at age 17-18. […] Taken as a whole then, effects are few, but generally beneficial in nature.”

Okami 1998: “No harmful “main effect” correlates of the predictor variables were found.”

So I fail to see how they’d support your point.

The last one, the Yahoo article, is not a study nor does it refer to any.

Okami 1998 also had a link to Lewis 1988, https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/3421828/: “The results suggest that childhood experiences with exposure to nudity and sleeping in the parental bed are not adversely related to adult sexual functioning and adjustment. In fact, there is modest support that these childhood experiences are positively related to indices of adjustment.”

Recognition of pre-existing bias: I’m Finnish, and this felt like an attack on family saunas.

If it’s so well trodden then share a review or meta-analysis, nobody (or at least not me, doubt anyone else either) will bother to dig out the referenced studies one by one.

Link to those studies, please.

There’s a huge difference to just seeing a naked body doing its thing, like sauna, or swim, or relax in the sun, or sleeping, or ill; and the same body as an erotic object

Depends on what kind of relationship you have, which I think in turn tends to depend on the age and the sex of the children, among other things.

A 14-year-old boy, yeah, rather gross, especially if he is uncomfortable or sucks at expressing their affection any other way on other days.

Me, a 40+ year old woman who has a warm relationship with my mom, now with an additional layer of “two old ladies”, and a history of dirty jokes: Nah, I hope she got a chuckle out of the pic (I visited a week early, didn’t think of making something like this).

If the cause for muted celebration persists, for next year I’d suggest reviving International Workers’ Day and/or Beltane, possibly with Cinco de Mayo influences. Nothing like solidarity marches, or bonfires, pagan magic and feasting.

Sweet sweet yum yum.

I did this too! Started out as a “test” or temper tantrum, but afterwards it felt so safe he didn’t start talking, that it really was a space where I was in control.

Stupid clever therapist.

Hate is such a strong word. Some bad, some good.

Bad:

• Copyright infringement and other unethical practices in acquiring training data
• Unimaginative AI art flooding the graphics market and the Internet
• Taking work from actual artists that might generate something new
• So much energy used on pointless, quickly forgotten “single-use art” in the middle of a climate crisis

Good:

• Okay starting point for logos for eg. small associations or clubs, preferably treated as version 0.1 and later worked on, but still an affordable option, and more personalised than clipart
• Creative visual outlet for people with no interest in developing their graphical skills, but who have an urge to get a small number of specific images out of their system
• Probably a good media for some commentary on the relationship between real a unreal, familiar and alien cognition, and such, but that itself is such a cliche
• Simply a fun toy

As someone with shit income but a nice savings buffer, holy shit it makes things so easy, compared. “Cool dress, I’ll get that for next summer - cool coat, I’ll get that for next winter”, no problem. Just got my cat’s meds for the next 4 months at a sale, and the next sale should be in that time. Also could get her thyroid radiotherapy, that’s already paid for itself (compared to permanent expensive meds, of course not compared to no treatment). Appliance starting to make a noise or performance dropping, time to add that to my second hand watch list and keep an eye on sales of quality brands, rather than being forced to risk it failing and then getting something in a hurry, possibly on some payment scheme with a high interest rate. Pantry items on sale and/or in bulk. And of course the kind of main shoes that have held up for 5+ years, just could use a resoling soon.

I can’t even imagine the constant stress living without it would be. Ow. :/

surely you can show me a shittone of examples of such a massive campaign of kidnappings happening to people forbidden from leaving the country […] that happened in […]let’s say last two centuries?

I’ll just give you a partial list of European countries that 1) had wartime conscription, and 2) executed deserters, in WW1 or 2, which would indicate an equally/more drastic “kill or be killed” choice, and is way easier to find. Or do you know better how conscription worked in the WWs off the top of your head?

• Britain and the Commonwealth
• France
• Germany
• Italy
• Soviet Union (estimated around 150 000 executed in WW2, including returned POWs executed for “desertion”)

Conscription is done in preparation for “mass kidnappings of cannon fodder”, as you put it.

No?..

…yes? Or do you think the countries with peacetime conscription do it for shits and giggles, and the massive economic benefit of half the population losing about a year of working life?

Russia has conscription but not kidnapping part and forbidding to leave the country part. So do many other countries.

Russia has a larger population than Ukraine, and thus the luxury to not need everyone, and still they have called in reservists in “partial mobilization”, exact number unknown. As Russia has conscription, every adult man who has performed their service is in reserve. As of 2023, reservists called into service are not allowed to leave and are subject to restrictions until they report to duty, which seems like high-tech enforcement/“kidnapping” to me. The conscriptions have also hit poorer regions, often with large ethnic minorities, more harshly, but I’m sure that’s just coincidence.

There are reports of some military districts closing borders, of mobilized men being ill-equipped and used as cannon fodder, being killed in large numbers, you name it. As with all war reporting, hard to get well-verified factsfacts, especially from a country hostile to neutral reporters. We do know that protests are broken (and male protestors sometimes drafted).

But yeah, probably not needing troop replacements to the same extent as Ukraine. Who, I’m saying again, are fighting for the survival of their country and culture.

I said “countries that are considered “good” and “democratic”” by the west. Does Cuba fit that definition now?

I honestly don’t know that much about Cuba, seems like country much like any other that has trouble because of a difficult neighbor and making the best of it? But if we’re talking about whether mandatory military service is sometimes justified, not whether mass media is biased (duhhhhh), perceptions held by the majority are inconsequential.

“Conscription” - that’s not what am I talking about though. Conscription (which is also absolutely wrong of course) is indeed present in a lot of countries. Mass kidnappings of cannon fodder that is not allowed to leave is quite unique to Zelensky’s regime.

Conscription is done in preparation for “mass kidnappings of cannon fodder”, as you put it.

Edit: Also kudos for not trying to defend ethnic Russians’ history of ethnic cleansing.

A brief scroll of Wikipedia (the sources seemed legit) shows that, for example, Cuba (which I’m assuming you admire?) has mandatory military service, no known policy of alternatives for conscientious objectors, and harsh punishments for evading it even in peacetime, to the point that people have attempted to injure themselves to get out of it. They haven’t been tried in modern war, but can’t see them suddenly relaxing the rules when actually tested. Border countries tend to take defence very seriously.

For countries and cultures bordering Russia, this really is an existential question. The forced population transfer/ethnic cleansing of Tatars, Ingrians, Chechens and Ingush, Balkars, etc. show what tends to happen. And before you say “well that was Stalin”, I’ll point to the Russification efforts of Alexander III and Nicholas II, and to… well, just about all speakers of Uralic languages still existing in Russia, facing steadily or rapidly declining numbers. Also the number of people identifying as ethnic Russians in the Baltics and Crimea, directly attributable to said forced population transfers; Transnistria, where the change happened more organically but was nonetheless used as an excuse for invasion; and to some degree in eastern Ukraine, that saw significant russification attempts and Russians moving in to man the industrial centers during SU, inflating the numbers of ethnic Russians and prevalence of the Russian language at cost of the native population.

True. I’m still shocked. This should be taken more as low estimate of corporations than admiration of their accomplishments. You know those goals were set as low as they could be, with as many tricks as there could be, and still I expected something like maybe 20% to stick to them at best.

Wait, over 60% met them or faced consequences?

Edit: “Almost 61% achieved their targets” holy fuck. Corporations did something good they said they would, over half the time.

Completely opposite for me. Full bush keeps everything more “airy”, whereas shaven is underwear directly against the parts that bleach them, plus it all gets all sweaty.