
I can circumstantially pretend to be outgoing and enjoyable for short interactions with strangers or people with little impact on my life. Phone calls and virtual work meetings for 1 hr or less are OK, but you bet your ass I’m walking away from my desk immediately afterwards to decompress.
The kicker is I question whether I’m actually introverted. I’ve always had an incredibly difficult time making friends, even as a kid. The isolation is absolutely soul crushing sometimes. I crave and thrive on very close friendships… Even 1-2 is enough, which in our society is conducive to dating – and I eventually met an extroverted ray of sunshine who I’m still with. I still don’t feel like I belong around her friends, though, all these years later. Social anxiety is a bitch.
A strange observation: I’ve found myself far more comfortable with people from a certain region, about 3 hrs from where I grew up, but had no exposure to as a child. Interactions with them tend to be relatively effortless and enjoyable (is this what extroversion is like?).
In summary, I very much despise the way I am, but most people are on a significantly different social wavelength than I. The energy required to match those foreign wavelengths is measured in gigawatts… except for my wife and a few prior long term girlfriends.
I plan on someday experimenting with psilocybin as a therapeutic tool to better understand and potentially (partially?) mitigate some of my social puzzle and trauma believed to be a source of “introversion”.
Perhaps this resonates with you or someone else reading this.
“The Egg” is an interesting thought experiment and encourages empathy with others (much needed), however in my opinion it doesn’t make sense as a religious belief in a few ways.
Primarily, what’s the point? If “our” soul/spirit/essence doesn’t remember our past lives, we aren’t able to evolve humanity with the aggregated experiences and wisdom. The benefit implied by the story would be a grizzled singular soul with the experience of every human who ever existed… But to what end? Are we a training program for an advanced AI model created for the benefit of another dimension?
What about proto-humans such as neanderthals? Hominids and every mammal in preceding evolutionary chain? If anything, the egg would refer to the collective lives of every living creature to have ever existed. Even single-celled organisms? Alien life forms?
Third, you & I exist now, in parallel. I can’t be you while also being me, unless the royal “we” is not a singular entity but rather a multi-threaded process feeding something one layer up. This might go back to the AI modeling concept, and perhaps “simulation theory”.
If we are a simulation to train or experiment via advanced civic AI model, we individually are expendable iterations. Data points in a massive soup of existence, itself being one of a multitude of similar simulations.
Do what you can to improve the existence you reside in and those sharing it with you.